Imposter

The Imposter by Robert Jessup

The Imposter by Robert Jessup

I had a preliminary job interview today for a job I’ve already had at a company where I’ve already worked. Twice. And been laid off –twice.

It was very informal and I think it went rather well. It went well enough that I have a follow-up phone interview with a manager.

The pay for this job is awful, but this was one of the few jobs that I loved. I will not be able to survive on this salary. Worse yet, it is a temporary position, and they’ve only promised two months.

I didn’t prepare for this interview as much as I usually prepare. This job would help, but I realize that it isn’t the solution to my problems. I suppose that’s why I wasn’t terribly excited. Or nervous, even.

I only have one suit I can wear at the moment. A denim suit was probably one of the best investments I’ve made in recent years. It doesn’t look like denim, and it’s washable so I don’t have to waste money on dry cleaners or Dryel. I took the bus to save money on gasoline and (more importantly) parking. My interview was in one of the ritzier areas of downtown Seattle. I felt a bit self-conscious walking among the suits. A homeless man stood on a corner. He held a sign that said “HUNGRY PLEASE HELP” and he asked me for change. Of course I didn’t have anything to spare. It occurred to me that the homeless man had more earning power than I currently have. I’m lucky that I have a home for the time being, and I’m lucky that I can blend in with the yuppie crowd. But I’m not one of them. I’m really not. I’m a matter of weeks away from standing on the street corner, myself. I should really be standing on the street corner now but I’m just too scared.

I imagine that this occurs in every major city– you’ll see upscale department stores and then homeless people talking to themselves two blocks over. I found it a bit disorienting to walk from one pole to another. Identifying with both. In-between.

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Filed under Home Life, Materialism, Work

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